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Potential Assholes

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Judging you right now

A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.

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769
Posted byAsshole #18 days ago
Stickied post

We do realize that some people in difficult situations can be confused or gaslit into thinking they might be the asshole, even though there is no way they've done anything anyone could condemn. The problem is, too many people who see these posts upvote them in an attempt to morally reward the op, instead of voting for what is interesting in the sub.

So, in response to MUCH requesting and complaining we're going to remove discussions that are coming from a submitter who is obviously not the asshole. If a discussion has several judgments already and is unanimous or near-unanimous in declaring them NTA, or NAH, or SHP we ask that subscribers report it as validation seeking, and we will remove it. The submitter will still be able to read their results, and this will give the honestly confused the judgement they need, while clearing room in the sub for more interesting topics. There is no condemnation here, and we won't ban unless we feel there was deliberate trolling.

Thanks for your help!

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2 things first: -She just got a smart watch. -She is not the most active during sex

So my SO and I were having sex. I'm on top and it's the usual, which is fine. I am always the one to suggest other positions and stuff, otherwise it would just be missionary/done. I've already got her off and I say "hey babe, wanna get on top?" Her" not really, if that's okay" Me "okay" (continues in/out) Suddenly her watch starts vibrating and chiming. Me "what's up with that?" Her(without thinking)"oh it just does that when it thinks I've been sedentary too long" I bust out laughing. Can't stop. She get super grumpy about it. We stop. I don't really care cause I appreciate the comedy. Now her feeling are kinda hurt :/....

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Ok title is a little clickbaity but I couldn't explain the whole context in the title.

My mom has six grandkids. Three boys and three girls. They were all born within six years of each other. A few years ago, when the youngest turned eighteen, we had a family reunion.

At the reunion, my mom had everyone sit down. She pulled out six items and distributed them to each grandchild.

These were family heirlooms. My mom is from Europe and her great uncle died in World War One. In his belongings were items that my mom has no idea of their worth. There were three of this item which she gave to my son and the other two grandsons.

Then she pulled out three neatly ironed and folded table cloth napkins. They had been embroidered with the new last name of her great great (I don't know how many greats) grandmother from the late 1800s on her wedding day. This apparently was a custom back then for a new bride to do this and the napkins have been handed down for generations.

These were amazing, sentimental gifts.

There is only one problem however.

In the days after the reunion, my son went to have his gift appraised. Hold on to your seats for this.

It was appraised at $75,000.

He said he could sell it and do this and that with the money and I told him don't you dare. My mother obviously had no idea what she was doing and what the value of those items were.

Of course, my daughter's napkin had no monetary value at all.

I told him if he does sell it, to do so after mom dies (she is in her 80s), and that he should give half to his sister.

He sulked a little at this, saying that she has a college degree and works for a great company. He never went to college and doesn't make what she makes.

I'm at a loss. AITA?

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I’m reposting this because I deleted it the first time. My bf is bigger and stronger than me. He likes to lie on me so I can’t get up and restrain me to tickle me or lick me. I tell him to get off, that I’m serious, and I don’t like what he’s doing, but he straight up says no or ignores me. I really hate being tickled and it’s annoying, like I really really really hate it. Today I scratched him really hard and bit him. It left marks on his arms and sides of his torso. I think he was bleeding a little. I feel bad for cutting him because that’s not right and I broke through the skin, but I also think he deserved it because I explicitly told him to get off and he said no. He said tickling doesn’t mean I can leave marks on his body, but if I ask him to stop and get off and he doesn’t, what else am I supposed to do? AITA?

Edit: thanks, I fucking knew I wasn’t crazy

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Ok, Im really conflicted here. Around in, August one of my roommates and his girlfriend (who doesn't live with us all) got a cat, and they decided to leave it here without telling anyone else in the house. I don't care, I love cats so it wasn't a problem.

The problem is he never takes care of his cat beyond feeding it and cleaning its litter box. I will give that to him he never starves him. But he never plays with him either, and he always has all this energy and there's only 2 or 3 cat toys in the house, and I bought one of them! Most of the time he isn't even at the house, he's at his girlfriends house, where he'll be for days at a time leaving his friend who lives here to take care of his cat. When he is here he's playing video games or watching TV, and when the cat is asking for attention he usually just yells at him.

The worst was New Years. I was the only one at the house during the few days around New Years, and one day I got back from work and realized he had left his cat locked in his room while he was at his parents house. EDIT This is the worst because he's done this before at Thanksgiving, but that time was only 2 days as opposed to the 4 days at New Years

Whenever anyone comes over the cat always runs to them begging for attention, which he usually ends up getting from my friends or one of my roommates gfs who likes the cat.

Anyway, this one girl I know is a huge animal rescue/rights person. She hates the way he treats his cat and told me multiple times she's gonna take him. I don't know 100% because I haven't asked her, but I'm about 95% sure she took his cat. The other 5% is he might have negligently killed it and is lying about it. When he asked me if I knew I said I had no idea and helped him look for his cat.

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Hello fellow Redditors! I’ve lurked for a long time, but for the first time I felt compelled to post. I [24/M] woke up to an email from my biological father trying to contact me for the second time in my life. I sent him the following reply (which will provide plenty of context and background) after some hard conversations with my parents, but I want to know, AITA for what I said?

“[My biological father’s name],

I don’t think anyone wanted me to reply to this. I saw your name pop up on my school email and I knew immediately who it was. I had a cup of coffee this morning and asked myself repeatedly, why should I respond? I don’t owe you anything, and you certainly don’t deserve a response as far as I’m concerned. My mother and aunt cringe at your name, and my father gives you a less than glowing character recommendation. But nevertheless, I chose to reply, but, I wanted to iterate one point: it’s not for closure. It’s not because I’m some angry young man wondering why his biological father chose not to be in his life. You wanted to hear from me, so you will hear my story.

I’m going to be 25 years old in a few months. I’ve grown up for nearly 25 years not knowing who you are. When I was a boy, I had dreams where I was a baby sitting in a driveway of a mobile home, staring at a playground across the street - I never understood those were memories until I was older. Growing up, I often questioned why my namesake was different from my parents’, only to be told that I would be told why when I was older. Then one day when I was fifteen, “older” came. My mother and father tearfully walked into my bedroom one day with a stack of documents. Included in this stack were notebooks full of my mother’s documentation of my visits with you, where I read that you had little to nothing to do with me as a baby. The legal documents where you voluntarily surrendered your parental rights of me. The tens of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support, and the last bounced check where you wrote “Blood Money” in the memo. I read every word, every line, resenting both you and my namesake deeper and deeper. I watched the tears in my parents’ eyes while they watched me catch up to speed with what I was oblivious of my entire life.

For years, I was angry. I was angry at you, them, and the world. I lost a lot of people around me, and I hurt a lot of people because of that anger. Compounded with puberty, those teenage years were rough. I let my father legally adopt me shortly after that day. The man stepped in when you stepped out, and regardless of differences and issues in the past, he was and is my father.

You and your children contacted me when I turned 18, which everyone warned me would happen. “Don’t be surprised if he tries to contact you now that he doesn’t have to pay your child support.” And what do you know? The messages showed up one day. I didn’t immediately accept you all with open arms for obviously reasons, and you and your family turned on me instantly. I still have the messages on Facebook and snapshots of what was put on Instagram. The insults and the profanity from you and your children towards me was baffling. To be called a “deadbeat brother” by people I had never met had me absolutely floored. What convinced any of you that, having not spoken to me in my life, that that was the way to introduce yourselves? I did learn something that day - how easy it was for you to contact me. For all that time, you chose not to contact me, until the day came where you had no financial obligation to me. I found all of you had been following the updates on my Facebook account. You knew where I was growing up. You knew where I was online. All the while, you stayed away completely by your own choosing. My mother and father never kept me hidden from you. You knew where I was the entire time.

Here we are again, where I’m not accepting you with open arms for obvious reasons. Quite frankly, I’m surprised I’ve typed out this much of a response to someone I’ve never met and someone who cared so little of someone he had no problem helping create. I have parents, step parents, loved ones and friends who are responsible for where I am today - not you. You’ve missed a lot. Actually, you’ve missed everything. You didn’t teach me to ride a bike. You didn’t teach me how to shave or tie a tie. You didn’t inspire any of my interests or hobbies, past or present. You never showed up to a single one of my sporting events. You weren’t there for any of my teenage hardships, or any of the breakups. You weren’t there when I graduated high school. You weren’t there when I was accepted into college. You weren’t there when the woman I was going to ask to marry me left me while the engagement ring sat in my pocket. You weren’t there when I graduated college. You weren’t there when I got a federal internship in Washington D.C. and became who I am today. You weren’t there when I got into the workforce. You weren’t there when I was accepted into graduate school. You weren’t there for a single important milestone in my life, other than my conception. You weren’t there - you could’ve been, but you chose not to.

So you heard from me. I don’t care if I ever know why you did what you did, or why you’re truly contacting me. Your response is completely your decision and yours alone, but I’m not holding my breath waiting to know why. I will live my life and continue to be happy and successful. But know, your hostility when I was 18 didn’t work then, and surely won’t work now. This is the chance for you to be the man you’ve never been to me, and the man I learned how to be.

So, hello. Your turn.”

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First of all I'm not looking for any type of validation,there's no taking back things that were already said. I was at the bar the other night with my wife, it was the first time we had a babysitter in years. My wife got pissy drunk and started some shit with some guy at the bar. This guy was actually really cool about things, seeing as she was putting her hands on him. She started demanding that I need to beat his ass. I tried to pull her away and tell her we need to leave. This pissed her off even more, then she started taking her frustrations out on me.

When we got home we had a huge blowout fight. She was absolutely livid about the fact that I wouldn't back her up at the bar. 10 years ago I would have knocked that guy out just for raising his voice at my wife, but back then I didn't have too much to lose. Now I have a mortgage payment, a car payment, and four kids to feed. If I go to jail there's no way my wife will be able to take care of everything. She was calling me a pussy, and told me I wasn't the man she married anymore. I guess it struck a nerve, because I told her she wasn't the person I married anymore she was a total bitch and a fat slob.

She absolutely refuses to see anything but other than her views what happened the other night. Not only is she heartbroken by what I called her, but she insists she needs a "real man" that isn't scared to back her up. She acts like she's still in high school and I can't even argue with people like that.

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Hi. So I’m 18 and just finished my A’levels. I’m planning to spend some time tutoring students in science, because I really like teaching science subjects (physics, chemistry and biology) and I’d also earn some money.

Right now I’ve got a total of 9 students, and I work 6 days a week from 4pm to 8pm with a one hour break.

Today, my mom came and was like, “I’m going to tell [cousin] to come at 2:30pm on Sunday to get English lessons.” I was a bit taken aback. I never agreed to give tuition to said cousin, and I think I’m already too busy to add more hours of work. That being said, I’m also expected to teach them for free without being paid.

After I refused, my mom says I’m being ungrateful because my aunt is really good and kind to us and I should teach my cousin as a favor for my aunt. She says they’re not going to be happy and I shouldn’t treat family like this. I’d like to add that it’s true that my aunt is the kindest person that I’ve ever met and I wish all the best for her, just not this.

But I don’t want to do this. If I wanted to have more work hours I’d get students who’d actually pay me for the hour.

Am I being an ungrateful asshole here?

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